The Dispute
“How’s next weekend look for you,” Josh asked during one of his nightly calls.
“I’m not flying out,” she warned him.
“No, I am. To meet your family.”
“Oh, Josh, that’s wonderful! Thank you.”
“Then it’s okay?”
“As far as I know, nothing's planned.”
“I’ll fly in Saturday, but I’ll have to leave Sunday.”
He was making a concession in his schedule. She wasn’t about to complain about the length of the visit.
“Will we be able to get some horizontal time squeezed in there?”
Brianne laughed. “If not, we’ll try for vertical.”
“I can’t wait to see you, baby girl.” And he had every intention of pushing for a wedding date.
Two days later, he called disappointing the both.
“Johnny scheduled something for Saturday. Damn, baby, I am so sorry,” he told her over the phone.
“So am I,” her whisper was barely audible.
"This one wasn’t my fault, Bree. Honest.”
“All right.”
“I really was looking forward to it.”
“Uh-huh,”
“Really. I figured I could discuss getting married then.”
That pacified her a little. “Make it soon, Josh.”
He could hear the tears in her soft voice. “Ah, baby girl, I didn’t want to disappoint you again. Believe me, I’m going to meet your father and Jeff, then you and I can talk wedding. It’s what I want for us.”
“Some days, I’m pretty sure it will never happen.”
“It will, Bree. You've got to believe it.”
“It’s almost the holidays, Josh. We’ll end up spending them apart, too.”
“No.” He couldn’t bear the thought of being without her for family holidays. She wasn’t putting a lot of faith in him – and at the moment, he couldn’t blame her. “We’ll make it work, baby. You’ll see.”
Brianne replied nothing.
“Bree?”
“I—I gotta go,” she mumbled absently.
“Baby, I love the hell out of you”
“Bye . . .”
“Bree!”
She’d hung up. This was major damage. Josh realized this would be hard to forgive, no matter who carried the blame. All she could see was the end result – another month without him taking the one step that would make her his.
Josh tried later that day to speak to her. Her cell phone had been turned off and her home phone wasn’t picking up. He couldn’t even leave a message.
“Bree, don’t be giving up on us,” he murmured as he put down his cell phone. “I’ll fix it somehow, I promise.”
“Hey, Denise, there’s some guy demanding to talk to Bree on line one,” Colleen called over the intercom. “She isn’t here. He seems real pissed.”
“I’ll get it.”
Denise punched one. “What can I do for you, sir?”
“Tell me where the hell Bree is,” Josh demanded.
Denise had an idea who it was. “All the roses in town won’t fix this one, buddy.”
“I didn’t cancel for no reason.”
“Doesn’t matter. All she knows is that you’re having trouble with your priorities. She sees she isn’t priority one or even two.”
“Why am I defending myself to you?” he grumbled.
“Probably because I’m the one who got the postcard from Orlando that read, “Sex is great. Do I have to come back?”
“She wrote that?”
“If you hadn’t been so into your crotch, you should have flown her home that week to see Brian and Jeff. You’d be a married man by now.”
Josh groaned. He had never even thought of it. “Where is she? I gotta talk to her.”
“When she’s through licking her wounds, she’ll let you know.”
“I don’t want to wait that long.”
“Too bad. This isn’t about you. It’s about Brianne and she’s been shit on enough by men. If she wants to contact you, she will.”
“In other words, she could be in that very room and you wouldn’t put her on.”
“That’s right. But for the sake of fairness, she isn’t here.”
“Where is she? She isn’t home, or she isn’t picking up. Her cell is off. I need to talk to her.”
“No, what you need is to get your sorry ass here before she gives up on you.”
“You’re Denise right?” Denise was one of Brianne’s closest confidants if he recalled correctly.
“Yes, I am.”
“Am I that close to losing her?” he asked quietly.
“You’re skating on mighty thin ice.”
“But she knows I love her—”
“Save it for someone who’s sympathetic. We appreciate the donations, but we’ll do without them if Bree gives you the heave-ho.”
“She won’t.”
“Don’t be too sure.”
“Just tell her I called.”
“Sure – by the way, I told her she was nuts not to marry you right off. Now I’m glad she didn’t listen – Evidently she knew it wasn’t right.”
“Your fiancé called why you were at the printers,” Denise announced when Brianne returned fifteen minutes later.
“He did?”
“Seems he hasn’t been able to reach you.”
Brianne shrugged.
“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Making a turkey.”
“Bree, I mean about Josh?”
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t.”
After a week of suffering in silence, Brianne reconnected to the means of Josh’s communication. It took fifteen minutes for her phone to ring.
“Hi, this is Brianne and Big (Woof), we don’t want to talk now, so say what you need.”
“Baby girl, it’s Josh. Call me soon. I need to talk to you. I’ve been a jackass and I want to make it up to you. Call me back, okay? Please, Bree. Baby, I don’t want us to be this way. I love you. . Soon, Josh.”
“JC”
“What do we have to talk about? When you want your ring back?” Brianne demanded.
“Bree! Baby. . . “ Then he realized what she had said. “Hell, no! I don’t want the rings. I want you.”
“What makes you think I want you?”
“Because you love me, baby girl,” he told her softly. “Because we love each other. You’re mad and I understand. I’ve been thinking more about what I want than what you want. I was wrong. If you forgive me, I’ll make it up to you.”
“And just how do you plan to do that?”
“It’s the beginning of November. Before Thanksgiving I promise I’ll meet your family. I promise.”
“Your promises don’t mean much anymore.”
That hurt. Josh had always prided himself of keeping his promises, but Brianne had been on the receiving end of some of his worst behavior. “I’ll earn back that trust, Brianne, I know I have to.”
“No, you don’t. You can go back to the girlfriends who don’t care.”
“What do I need with more people around me who don’t care? Those are a dime a dozen. What I need is a sweet, beautiful girl who loves me enough to show me what a jackass I am.” He heard a water giggle and knew he was making headway. “I’m not perfect, Bree. When I screw up, I screw up big time. But losing you would be more than a screw up – that’s more like a life altering disaster.
“Maybe you need to find someone who can accommodate your lifestyle,” she suggested gently.
“Baby, you’ve done your best to accommodate me – and I haven’t returned the favor. You’re right. I got to thinking my life was more important than yours. That’s sick thinking. I needed your jolt of reality, no matter how painful it was.
“Your friend Denise said you wanted to stay with me after that first week – and you would have, if I’d met your dad and Jeff then. Is that true?”
“Probably.”
Josh groaned. They wouldn’t have gone through this torture if he’d been more aware. “I’m an idiot. Forgive me, baby. All I can do is try harder. Okay?”
“I’m beginning not to know anymore, Josh.”
“I can’t lose you, Bree. I can’t. They guys will even testimony on what a wreck I’ve been.” Then he realized he was still making about what he wanted. “I love you, baby. No one will ever love you the way that I do. You knew that the night we met. We were in each other’s souls. All we had to do was meet. You let me in that night, because you knew it was right for both of us.
“All I know right now is I can’t keep going through this, Josh. It hurts too much. I don’t like the fact you have that much power to hurt me – and you have been doing it on a fairly regular basis lately. I’m the one doing all the forgiving – and I’m not liking it one bit.”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry. I can’t undo the hurt, Bree. I’d like another chance. Please.”
“How many more chances should get?”
This was his last, he realized – and it was more than he should get. “It’s this being apart so much, baby. When we are together it won’t be like this, I promise.” There he’d done it again! Another promise she wouldn’t trust.
“I just can’t make a decision right now.”
“When do you want me to call back?”
“Don’t. You wait this time.”
“You promised my parents you’d see them at Thanksgiving,” he reminded her.
Brianne groaned. She had done that months ago, when she was certain she and Josh would be married by that time – but he had been the hold up. “I thought I’d be your wife by this time.”
“You still can,” he urged softly.
“No, I can’t.”
“Baby—“
“I’m hanging up, Josh.”
“Brianne, please—“
“If you don’t say ‘good-bye’ and hang up. I’ll hang up on you,” she threatened.
“Talk to you later, baby girl.” He was not going to say ‘good-bye’ to her – ever!
“Bye.”
Josh sat there staring at his cellphone. It hadn’t bothered Brianne to say the word he dreaded. So, maybe it wouldn’t be that difficult for her to say it once and for all.
“Didn’t go well, huh?” Joey asked.
“She’s still mad as hell.”
“Knowing what I know of Brianne, I’d say she’s more hurt than mad.”
“I’ll make it up to her.”
“How? She doesn’t care for anything money can buy.” Joey shook his head. “She wants your time and attention – and you aren’t in a good place to give that to her.”
“I’m gonna have to – or lose her – and that can’t happen.”
“Daddy, can I talk to you?”
Brian Collins looked up from his newspaper when he heard his daughter’s voice. Brianne was more likely to seek her friends’ advice anymore. But with his fatherly intuition he’d known she been struggling again – and the subject was the same – Josh. He set the paper aside and took off his reading glasses. “Sure, baby girl. Need a lap?”
“I think so.”
He held out his arms and let her snuggle like she had when she was young and upset.
“It’s about Josh.”
“I figured as much.”
“I don’t know what to do anymore. I love him, but I don’t know if I can do this much longer. It’s wearing my heart out.”
“Love is never easy. If it were, it wouldn’t be so precious.”
“I only want him to come here. Is that so awful?”
“You have to remember a lot of his time isn’t his own, honey. Even when he thinks he has time, he doesn’t. I know he said he’d come last week, but didn’t someone else make the decision that made him unable to do so?”
“Well, yes…”
“And as far as meeting me… All I care about is that he makes you happy, Brianne. I know when you’re going to be with him, you fairly glow with anticipation – and when you come home you seem to miss him like hell. He treats you like a princess and that’s what every father wants for his little girl. He calls every night when you aren’t punishing him. And he isn’t afraid to say he’s sorry. He’s got some real good qualities there.”
“In other words, I should cut him a break.”
“In other words, don’t let anger destroy the most important relationship of your adult life.”
Brianne kissed her father’s bristly cheek. “How’d you get so smart?”
“I raised two great kids – and was married to the most wonderful woman for nearly twenty years. You learn stuff.” Brian Collins had never been a man of many words, but seeing his youngest struggle was worth commenting on. If she gave up on her Josh now, he had a feeling she’d regret it for the rest of her life. She was much too young for such a burden.
“I still insist he meet you first.”
“That’s a reasonable request.”
“Dad, I promised I’d spend Thanksgiving with his family months ago – I thought I would have married him by now.”
“We’ll just have ours a little early then.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. The only way to show him the importance you place on promises is to keep yours.”
“You are a pretty awesome dad, you know?”
Brian chuckled. “I hope that means good.”
“The best!”
“Hi, I can’t take your call right now. Please leave a message,” Josh’s voice mail picked up.
“Yeah, right. Available twenty-four/seven my butt,” Brianne muttered, then left her message. “It’s Brianne. Call me.”
Josh listened to her message. He was sure she didn’t realize her opening complaint had also been recorded. That didn’t bode well. He’d pissed her off again! But he had been on stage at the time of the call. He punched her home phone into his cell. It was probably too late to be calling her, past midnight her time. He’d leave her a message so she knew he’d at least tried to return her call.
“’Lo,” came a sleepy angel’s voice.
“Baby, it’s Josh. I was just going to leave a message. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Hi, Josh.”
“Hiya, baby girl. Sorry it’s so late. I’ll call later.”
“Where are you?”
“A hotel in Vegas.”
“Winning anything?”
“The only gambling I’m doing is calling you, Bree.”
“I love you,” she told him softly.
Her words flowed over his aching heart like a soothing balm. “Baby, I love you so much. I want us to work.”
“You know the only thing I’ve asked.”
“And it’ll happen and damned soon.”
“I told Dad I was going to Chicago. He said we’d have an early Thanksgiving here.”
“Thank you, Bree.” He realized it was much more than he deserved.
“I want to bring Big. Jeff shouldn’t have to dog sit over the holiday weekend.”
“I’m pretty sure it isn’t a problem, but I’ll ask Mom.”
“No Big. No me.” She was firm on that point.
“I’ll make it happen.” Even if he had to stay in a hotel instead of at the house.
“Josh, I don’t want any more promises that won’t be kept. Is that clear?”
“Yeah, angel.”
”I love you, but I am not playing that game anymore.”
“It never has been a game, Bree.”
“Whatever. I won’t do it.”
“Understood.” He’d been without her for nearly two months. He couldn’t stand it much longer. “Baby, I’ve been missing you so much—“
“Good-night, Josh. I’ve got to get up in a few more hours, so I have to ring off.”
“Sweet dreams, angel. I love you.”
“Bye.”
Hanging up, Josh took a deep breath. His last reprieve – and he’d better not screw it up.
“I talked to Mom. She said it’s all right to bring Big along for Thanksgiving.”
“And just where will I sleep?”
Josh sighed. Brianne wasn’t going to make this easy on him. Damn! He hadn’t seen her in two months and she was hung up on appearances. “My room. I’ll take the damned couch,” he grumbled.
Brianne laughed at his surliness. “Josh, that’s not what I mean. Did you discuss our sleeping arrangements with your parents?”
“You got my ring on your finger. I told them we’re as good as married in my book. The only reason we’re not married is you haven’t married me.”
“Don’t start with me, Chasez,” she warned quietly. She had some very good reasons for refusing a quick marriage. Her sweet, loving boyfriend had become demanding and evasive since she had left Orlando and gone on tour. In fact, she had become so uncertain of their future, she had gone on the pill.
“They’ll let us share a room, Bree,” he said softly.
“That’s all I was asking.”
“I’m sorry, baby. This being apart is killing me. I miss you so much. If you were with me—“
“Josh, I don’t want to argue with you right now. Isn’t it enough I’m giving up Thanksgiving with Dad and Jeff for you?”
“More than enough. I really do appreciate you coming to Chicago for my sake. I know it seems like I don’t care about anyone but myself, but I do. You’re the best part of my world, baby girl. It eats at me when we’re apart – especially since we hardly spend any time with each other anymore.
Brianne wanted to point out he had made no effort whatsoever to come to her -- as he had promised at the beginning of their relationship. He’d always had ‘something come up’, so could she come to him?
“Think about it, please? Marry me. I don’t mean this minute – but if you’d say ‘yes’ I’d fly you here in a second – but let’s pick a date.”
“What do I do with my life? You’re on the road about five months out of the year.”
“Come with me as much as you can. I’m sure there are places in Orlando that would love a teacher like you to help them on a volunteer basis.”
“You live in California part of the time,” she reminded him.
“There are plenty of inner-city kids there.”
“At risk kids don’t trust easily. I wouldn’t be in either place long enough to gain their trust.”
“Then I’ll get you pregnant with a lot of little Chasezes.” He knew Brianne wanted children of her own.
Brianne laughed. Well, it wouldn’t be any time too soon!
“Bree baby, I gotta go. I’ll drive down from Chicago Wednesday to pick you up, okay?”
“You will?”
“You said you were having an early Thanksgiving for your family. Didn’t you want me there?”
“Well, of course, I do! Thank you, baby. It’ll mean a lot to me to have you there.”
“I want to make you happy, angel.” There was a lot of commotion in the background. “I gotta go. See you Wednesday.”
“Bye, Josh!”
Brianne hung up, stunned. Just when she had about decided she might need to break it off with Josh, he did something unexpected and wonderful. How did he know when to play his trump cards?