YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Ready for Thanksgiving

“So we finally get to meet lover boy,” Jeff remarked as he helped Brianne set the table in their father’s dining room.

Brianne wrinkled her nose. “Quit calling him that. He has a name. A nice name – Josh. And yes, you finally get to meet him. So, behave yourself.”

“I’ve seen pictures. He’s kind of scrawny.”

Brianne laughed. If only Jeff knew how muscular Josh was beneath a shirt – but that wasn’t something she was liable to share with her brother. “Just because he isn’t the Hulk doesn’t mean he’s ‘scrawny’.”

Jeff, the very image of his father twenty years earlier, wasn’t tremendously tall or bulky. The men were whipcord lean and muscular from years working construction.

“Who isn’t the Hulk?” Brian Collins asked as he came into the dining room.

“Her boyfriend.”

“Jeff was saying Josh was scrawny,” Brianne reported.

“Well, he isn’t exactly bulky.” Brian shrugged. “But I don’t think the heart takes that kind of thing into consideration when you fall in love.”

Brianne kissed her father’s cheek. “No, a heart doesn’t, Daddy. Thank you.”

“So when is he coming over?”

“Any time now. I left him and Big to get acquainted. He was loading his car when I came over here.”

Brian sniffed appreciatively. “Smells wonderful, baby girl.” Even though his daughter had been named for him, she more closely resembled his late wife in nearly every way: looks, manner, temperament, and kitchen skills. “The menu the same as always?”

Brianne named off the traditional list. “Homemade cranberry sauce. Praline sweet potato casserole. Mashed potatoes and giblet gravy. Corn. Green beans. Walnut stuffing. And the big bird.”

“Pie?” Brian questioned, knowing the answer.

“Pumpkin pie and Aunt Charlotte’s fudge brownie pie – with freshly whipped cream.”

Brian grinned. “We’ll still be eating leftovers when you get back.”

“Your boyfriend eat like a real man?” Jeff taunted.

“I expect Josh’ll eat his fill then fall asleep in front to the TV watching football tomorrow, like every other male I’ve known,” Brianne mused.

“He’d better not fall asleep tonight,” Brian grumbled. “Not with my baby in the car.”

“Josh is a very safe driver,” Brianne assured him.

At that moment, the doorbell rang.

“I supposed you’d like to get that,” Brian said to his daughter as she headed for the door.

Opening the door, Brianne found Josh dressed in a dark blue turtleneck shirt and jeans. It looked as if he had tried for a tamer look. She gave him a smile and pulled the door farther open, admitting him and Big.

Josh brushed his mouth over hers. “Hiya, baby.”

“Come on in. Hope you’re ready for a grilling.”

He gave what he hoped looked like a confident smile, even though he was feeling less than self-assured at that moment. “For you, I’d take on the world.”

When the huge dog saw Jeff, he let out a joyous bark and went to the man, leaning heavily on Jeff’s legs.

“Maybe I ought to just give Big to you,” Brianne remarked thoughtfully. Man and dog did seem to like each other tremendously.

“Just say the word.” Jeff rubbed the dog’s ears as Big wriggled happily. “Big and me are buddies, aren’t we, boy?”

Closing the door, Brianne took Josh’s hand and drew him into the dining room. “Daddy, this is Josh.”

Shaking hands, Josh said, “Pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“Nice to finally meet you, son. Brianne seems to think a lot of you,” Brian said.

“Brianne means the world to me, Mr. Collins.”

“And my brother Jeff.” Brianne pointed out.

Though the two shook hands, Josh felt it was Jeff he had to win approval from, not the father. Jeff was the one measuring him up and seeing him not good enough for Brianne. Brianne did not miss the tension.

“Ignore Jeff,” Brianne told Josh. “He’s a big brother.”

Josh chuckled. “So am I. I probably do the same to Heather’s boyfriends.”

“I doubt that,” she muttered.

Josh looked at the table laden with food, then sniffled the air appreciatively for the aromas of Thanksgiving. “Something smells wonderful.”

Brian hugged Brianne to his side. “My baby’s a wonderful cook, just like her mom.”

“Oh, Daddy…”

“The man she marries is going to be a lucky guy.”

“I think I’m already blessed to have Brianne in my life,” Josh announced quietly. Dammit, she wore his ring on her left hand. Was he the only one who took it seriously?

“You really gonna marry my baby and take her all the way to Florida?”

“Daddy—“

“That’s the idea anyway.” Josh broke in before Brianne could say more. “I do live in LA part of the time. My folks live in Chicago, so we’ll be in this area quite a bit.”

Josh’s answer seemed to please Brian.

“So when will it be?” Jeff asked.

“As soon as Brianne sets the date.”

Jeff frowned. Brianne was the hold up? He hadn’t been privy to all of the turmoil as his father had, so this was news to him. If she wasn’t setting a date, that mean she had reservations that had yet to be met. “She hasn’t said when she wants the wedding?”

Silence began to build, so Brianne headed for the kitchen. “Well, I have to check on the bird. It should be done.”

“Want some help, Bree?” Josh offered.

She smiled and held out her hand. “Sure, baby.”

“Why do I get the feeling that I should have kept my mouth shut about the wedding date?” he asked once they were safely alone behind the kitchen door.

“Probably because you should have,” she muttered as she opened the oven.

“Why?”

Josh saw her trying to lift the heavy roaster and nudged her aside. “Baby, let me do that.” Grabbing the potholders from her, he lifted the pan to the stovetop. “Bree, this looks too good to eat.”

The turkey was golden brown perfection, in spite of the fact she had neglected it when Josh had delayed her. Brianne grabbed the large platter and with his help transferred the turkey to it.

He then took her shoulders and made her look at him. “Why? Why shouldn’t I have told the truth? I don’t want them thinking I am the one dragging my heels. I want you to be my wife.”

“Because now he knows it’s me.”

“And that’s bad?”

She nodded slightly. “It means he thinks I wear the ring with reservations.”

“Do you?”

“Yes,” she whispered, looking away.

Josh groaned. “When did that happen?”

“Almost immediately.”

Josh dropped his hands from her shoulders. “You don’t love me.” He hadn’t heard those words from her lately.

“I do love you, but I wonder if it’s really enough.”

“We’re gonna have some long talks this weekend.”

Her smile was almost shy. “I’d like that, Josh. We don’t seem to communicate very well anymore.”

“I’m sorry, angel. Have I really been all that bad?”

“You want the truth?”

“I have, huh?” He cupped her face, kissing her softly. “I’ll talk your ears off,” he promised quietly.

Brianne grinned. “You can try.”

“Bird done?” her father yelled from the other room.

“Yes, Daddy! Josh’ll bring it out for you to carve while I make gravy.”

She pointed to the platter. “Please?”

“Sure, baby, but then I’m back in here. Your brother hates me.”

“No, he loves me.”

“And that’s exactly why he hates me.”

“We’ve got to get on the road,” Josh offered in explanation that was only half-true. He was avoiding Jeff.

After the dishwasher was loaded and the kitchen was neat once more, the couple returned to the living room where Brian and Jeff sat in their recliners.

“We’re ready to leave,” Brianne announced to her father as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.” “Happy Thanksgiving, Daddy.”

“You, too, baby girl.” Brian looked to Josh. “You take care of my girl. Drive careful.”

“I will, Mr. Collins,” Josh assured him.

Jeff asked, “Sure you want to take Big?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Thank you for offering.” Brianne kissed her brother’s cheek. “There are plenty of leftovers.”

“You take care of yourself, half-pint. If you have any trouble, I’m just a phone call away.”

Josh tried to hide his irritation at that remark.

Brianne merely laughed it off. “You really are a big bully, you know?”

“Yeah, I think you started telling me that about twenty years ago, when you were five.”

“You haven’t change a whole lot then.”

Brianne picked up a plastic container and called to the massive dog that had taken up residence on the hearthrug. “C’mon, Big. Let’s go for a ride.”

Josh shook hands with both men, then followed.

“I expected a load of shit from your father, not your brother,” Josh remarked as they pulled out of the drive.

Big had stretched across the back seat that had been covered with a blanket and was prepared to snooze the miles away.

“Jeff was fifteen when Mom died. I was twelve. He got over-protective of me, because Daddy wasn’t handling her death too well. He was so in love with Mom, he couldn’t believe she had left him alone with two kids to raise.”

“It wasn’t as if she did it on purpose.” Josh had learned her mother had died in a senseless car crash when some teenagers had played chicken with their cars.

“Daddy came around eventually, but Jeff never did give up his guardian role. Daddy is much more laid-back than Jeff.”

“Amen to that.” Josh held out an arm to her. “Come here, angel.”

Brianne released herself form her seat belt and strapped herself in next to Josh. She snuggled close.

“It’ll have been a long day for you by the time we get to Chicago,” he murmured, nuzzling her hair.

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Want to take a nap?”

“Not just yet.”

“What’s in the box?”

“I made one of Aunt Charlotte’s pies for your family.”

“That was sweet of you, Bree.”

“Well, I didn’t know what else to bring. A hostess gift is the proper thing.”

“The pie is more than enough.” He rubbed his hand along her shoulder. “Want to start that dialogue now?”

“Where do I start?”

“Why you have reservations? You accepted my proposal months ago.”

“I was still in a romantic haze. I thought I couldn’t live without you one more second when you flew me back to Orlando.”

“But now you can live without me, is that what you’re saying?”

“It’s more complicated than I thought. I guess I was naive. Josh, I’d be giving up everything I know. You wouldn’t.”

"And whatever you have now is more important than me?” So far, he was not liking this conversation. He could give her anything she wanted!

“This isn’t going to work if you get defensive,” she stated quietly.

“How in the hell am I not supposed to get defensive, Bree?”

The sharp tone of his voice had Big sitting up. Brianne reached back and patted the huge dog. “It’s okay, Big. Lay down.” And Big obeyed immediately.

And along with everything else, they had a freaking giant of a dog as a chaperone! Just dandy! Brianne no longer wanted to marry him and her dog could rip him into unidentifiable shreds!

“Josh, I’m trying to explain how I feel. If you get defensive, I’ll just quit talking and nothing will get resolved – and if that’s the case, you can just take me home.”

“That’s not happening.”

“Then pull over and let us out.”

“And have your brother hunt me down to break me in half? I don’t think so.”

Brianne shifted her body away from his and fell silent.

Josh glanced over to see the stiff set of her shoulders. “Don’t cry, baby. You know it gets me every time.” And he wasn’t sure if Big might take exception.

“I think maybe you should take me back home, Josh. This isn’t going to work,” she whispered.

Checking the traffic around them, he pulled over to the side of the highway. He unfastened his seatbelt, then hers. Sliding from beneath the steering wheel, he took her onto his lap. He wiped the tears away from her cheeks with his fingers. “Please, stop, angel. I’m being a jerk, okay. I know I am. It's just..." he sighed. Just what? That he felt his happiness slipping away with every word she said?

Big leaned over the back of the seat to check on his mistress. With his massive head, he shoved sweetly at her shoulder.

“I’m okay, boy,” she reassured the dog.

“Just great. I make no impression on your father. Your brother clearly thinks you can do better – and now Big thinks all I can do is upset you,” Josh grumbled.

“I like you,” she said softly.

“Do you? You like me. You just don’t want to marry me.” Then what had their fantastic afternoon of lovemaking meant?

“Let’s not talk about that right now, okay? It’s been a long day for both of us. Emotions will just roll to the surface and things’ll get said that won’t necessarily be true.”

“I tend to agree with you there.” He stroked her cheek. “But I do love you, baby girl – and I want to marry you so bad.”

“I know, Josh.”

There was a time when he would have gotten an ‘I love you’ right back. Their problems seemed to be worse than he imagined. “You still want share a room?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still want to make love?”

She nudged him. “Silly. You mean to tell me you think we can share a bed platonically?” she teased.

This made him chuckle. “I didn’t say it would be easy or particularly comfortable.” Then he realized she hadn’t answered his question. Maybe this weekend was her way of saying ‘good-bye’. He felt his heart start to pound uneasily “Bree?”

“What?”

“You really don’t want me anymore, do you?”

“What!” That notion was insane! “Are you crazy?”

“You keep answering with questions—“

She drew his head down for a long, sultry kiss. “Does that taste like disinterest to you?”

“It doesn’t.” It tasted like heaven.

“It even got the attention of the crotch monster.” Brianne scooted off his lap. “We’d better get going before the highway patrol catches us necking.”

Josh laughed as he resumed his seat. Once on the road again, Brianne cuddled up against him, only to fall asleep. He turned on the stereo to listen to soft jazz as he drove through the November night. Then it struck him – Brianne had never really answered him! A dark foreboding took over. May be she was saying ‘good-bye’.

She groaned. This was not a good time to be without them – and to send Josh out to the closest convenient store for condoms would exacerbate an already tense situation. And asking him to go without sex was out of the question.

“I’ve always wanted to play Russian Roulette,” she muttered to herself in the bathroom mirror.

“Bree baby?” Josh called though the door. “You okay?”

“Fine.” Grabbing her little bag and plastering a smile on her face, she stepped into the hall.

He smiled when he saw she wore the nightgown he had bought her on her last trip to Chicago. “You look beautiful, angel.” Taking her hand, he led her back to the bedroom they would share. “C’mon. It’s late and you’ve had a long day.”

As he closed the door behind them, Brianne got under the covers. She watched while Josh stripped out of his clothes and pulled on pajama bottoms for the first time in their acquaintance. Her startled look was not lost on him.

“I’m not going to jump your bones tonight, baby girl,” he told her as he joined her. “We’re both tired.”

“Are you that tired?”

He grinned. “No, but you are.” He put his arms around her, holding her in their favorite sleeping position, her back to his front. “G’night, Bree.”

“’Night, Josh.”

A moment later, Big made himself comfortable at the foot of the bed.

“’Night, Big,” Josh murmured.