What Love Means

JC watched as Sarah danced away from a pursuing wave, giggling. It was wonderful to see her carefree as a little girl. It was almost as if Elise’s death had released Sarah from an emotional prison. Years had been taken off her often-sullen personality – she had become the child her mother had not allowed her to be. In bed, she had become a new woman. Before, she had been calculating, keeping her heart out of it. Now, she was generous and giving in an open, sweet way. Putting it simply, it wasn’t ‘sex’ anymore. Sarah was a woman who made him fall in love all over again. Her affection was impulsive and honest. And she called him ‘Joshua’ or ‘Josh’ when they made love. He had asked her why. “Because, Joshua is my lover.” Then who was JC? She had smiled and said, “My friend.”

Sarah caught JC’s gaze. He’d been following her with his eyes lately. It was as if he was surprised by the woman she was – and waiting for the old Sarah to return. She ran at him, tackling him to the sandy ground and covering his face with teasing kisses.

JC cupped her face in his hands to bring her mouth to his.

“JC,” she moaned softly as she felt him harden beneath her.

This was something fascinating he had taught her – every arousal did not need to be satisfied. “I can’t help how I react to you, Sarah – but that doesn’t mean I expect you to do something about it. I can just enjoy the feel of you, can’t I?” Nearly every other man she knew automatically equated erections with sex. “If we had to stop and make love every time I got a hard-on, we’d be at it nearly twenty-four/seven,” he’d laughed. “It’s my body’s way of saying you feel good to me,” he’d told her with a gentle smile.

“We can’t make love here,” she whispered when he released her lips to move down her throat. “We’re out in the open and sand is not since in some private parts of the body.”

JC laughed. “I suppose not.” He tucked her hair behind her ears. “So, why did you knock me down?”

“Because you were looking entirely too serious.”

”I was, huh?”

“What were you thinking about?”

“One of my favorite subjects.”

“Sleep?” she teased.

“Naugh. That’s just a hobby.”

“Umm…Music?”

“Close. You.”

Music was JC’s life. And he thought she was like music? “How can I be close to music?”

“Even when I’m somewhere else, doing something else, you’re never more than a thought away.”

“That’s so sweet.”

Sarah scooted off of him and sat up. She looked out over the ocean. “JC, can I ask you something?”

He propped up on one elbow and took her hand. “Anything.”

“Do you miss the sex we used to have?”

“Hell, no! Why would you even ask?” Love had never been so fulfilling as when she came to him wanting ‘love’ not ‘sex’.

“Don’t guys like that other stuff?” She had done her damnedest to shock him, to show him he was an amateur next to her. It hadn’t ever worked.

“I don’t know about other guys, Sarah. A lot of the time I felt used – like a convenient stud.”

“But you wanted to stay.”

“Not for the sex, Sarah. I wanted to stay for you.” He moved to sit beside her. “I admit you took me on a crazy hot ride any number of times. You knew how to freak me pretty great, but it made me feel a little empty, used.” He touched her cheek until she looked at him. “You felt empty, too, baby. It was in your eyes – they practically begged for love.

“Nearly five months of hot sex—“

“Can’t compare with the week of sweet love we’ve had.”

“But I do actually enjoy doing some of those things for you.”

“Fine. Great. As long as you do it in the context of loving me, it’s not a problem.”

She grinned impishly. “I like freaking you.”

“As long as it’s Josh you’re freaking.”

Sarah swung astride his lap, sliding a finger under the back waistband of his shorts. She teased the crack, then pressed a little deeper. “I like making you wild. Like no other woman had thought of it.”

“Believe me, no one had,” At first, he had been uncomfortable knowing Sarah was vastly more knowledgeable than he was. And she had made him feel like the boy she had named him. Then she had proved a patient, appreciative tutor. But when it came to love, the roles had been reversed. He was leading the way.

“Wanna go take a shower, so I can freak you?” she suggested huskily.

“No. I wouldn’t mind taking a shower so we can make love though.”

“Be patient with me, Joshua. That’s what I meant.” She kissed him softly. “I want to make my baby wild when I love him.”

In one smooth move, JC rolled to his feet with her legs wrapped around his waist. He walked them to the shower enclosure beneath the deck.

They quickly shoved the clothes off each other as they stood under the warm spray of water. Once that was accomplished, Sarah brought his head down for a hungry, consuming kiss. Reaching for the liquid soap, she began lathering his chest, making him moan with pleasure.

“Sarah…”

“Shh…”

JC knew where her hands were heading before she reached his heavy member and the sac below. Pouring some of the liquid in his hands, he started at her neck, gradually working to encircle her breasts in suds. It was nice to hear her gasp. Sliding his slick hands over her belly, he lathered the triangle of curls that hid her treasure.

“Josh…” she whimpered when one finger teased her.

JC lifted her against the wall of the rough-boarded stall and entered her gradually. “Mmm… Sarah, you feel so good. Hot and tight.” He lowered his head to suckle her breasts as he slowly pumped into her.

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck, stroking his hair tenderly. “No one has ever loved me like this,” she whispered. “No one has ever loved me.”

He raised his head to meet her awe-glazed eyes. “I love you, Sarah.”

She smiled wonderingly. “I know. I’m amazed.”

And someday, when she was surer of herself, she would return those words he wanted to hear. But for now, it was enough that she accepted them as the truth.