About Sarah
Even if her trip to Orlando had signaled the beginning of Sarah’s admission a man could indeed be a part of her life, it was a struggle. JC was away more than he was with her. Much of the time she seemed okay with that. Other times, it was as if her abandonment issues raised their ugly heads. She threw up roadblocks when he came home, forcing him to remove each one before he could reach his sweet Sarah. With time and distance, she would let him think she could care less – when in fact, it made her skittish and insecure. JC would have to start at square one, giving unvarnished love and attention. He saw it clearly for what it was, but remained helpless to do anything about the problem.
JC also found himself at the end of his patience on several occasions. Her pushing had been more that he wanted to deal with when he had so much else on his plate. When he flared at her, her dark eyes went wide, then she’d get this closed look. By the time he realized what he had done, his Sarah would be unavailable to him. In her stead would be her alter-ego, Sarah Chase, his baby locked away behind a tough façade. If he had time, he would woo her back out. If not, the time apart seemed like forever.
What had made her so damned difficult?
“What is it about her? She seems to like sex – and she certainly is not shy about her demands, but she really doesn’t trust or like men much.” JC stated his observation to Steven as they worked on remixing the tracks for the soundtrack CD.
“That’s because Sarah’s history with all men sucks,” Steven told him plainly. “Starting with her our grandfather.” He waved JC into a nearby chair. “It’s gonna be a long story.”
As JC seated himself, he was already feeling uncomfortable. How could he hope to undo the damage that spanned generations?
“Grandfather was a crusty, cold bastard. He could make money but didn’t know how to care. Sarah’s father, his only child, grew up just like him. Apples don’t fall far from the tree. As long as Sarah wasn’t born a boy, he frankly could have cared less if she lived or died. In fact, Grandfather told Uncle Martin he was a failure when he didn’t produce a son.” Steven shrugged. “Elise refused to get pregnant after Sarah’s birth. So, Sarah had been his only shot at male progeny.
“As a youngster, Sarah tried to be the best at everything, hoping to get some sort of approval. When that never worked, she turned into a sullen brat by the age of fourteen. So, they shipped her off to boarding schools. Out of sight, out of mind. When Martin died, they sold his shares of holdings back to the males in the family. Elise got half and Sarah got half. That was a considerable fortune.”
“She had the money to tell them to go to hell.”
“She was your age by then. The damage was done. She didn’t fall in to the ‘sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll’ that a lot of wealthy kids did.”
“Just the sex,” JC muttered.
Steven shook his head. “I don’t know that there have actually been that many, but they were all selfish jerks. I think she tried to do anything she could to please them in bed, to make them love her – not a one of them ever did. It just so happens you came along at exactly the wrong time.”
“How’s that?”
“She was still smarting from her last disastrous affair.”
Just his dumb luck, JC thought gloomily.
“I was there the night it happened. We were at some party. He’d had a few too many and was bragging about what a stud he was, then announced to everyone in earshot that Sarah was ‘one damn good fuck’ – and that was the only reason he stayed with her.”
JC could well imagine how hurtful that would have been for his vulnerable Sarah.
“She stepped up and retorted he was a ‘mighty poor fuck’ and he could find another hole to aim at, then she walked away without a backward glance. The next morning the little thing drug the mattress out to the beach and set fire to it. She got slapped with a hefty fine for not having a permit to burn.”
JC managed a weak smile. “At least, I’m not using a mattress any other man used.”
“You’ve lasted the longest.”
“We’ve been together four months.” And since he’d been busy doing other projects, they hadn’t actually been ‘together’ that much. Maybe that was the key to his longevity. He wasn’t there constantly, making demands on her.
“Usually, six weeks is her limit. Then they show their true colors.”
“Sarah’s always known my true colors.” Sometimes, he felt like her plaything. Just when he decided he’d had about enough, Sarah would show some vulnerability and he would be sucked back in to her charms.
“Believe me, JC, you’ve touched something in her or she would’ve unloaded you long before now.”
“Maybe she enjoys being teacher.”
Steven shook his head. “You aren’t giving yourself enough credit, I bet if something were to happen where you really needed Sarah, she’d be there, one of your staunchest supporters.”
“I’d like to think so,” JC sighed gustily. He knew he’d be there for Sarah, hell or high water. And poor Sarah had more secrets than anyone he had ever known!
“I give you a perfect 10 for perseverance and tolerance. You just may be up for sainthood.”
JC wanted only one thing at the moment – Sarah’s love.
That night, he’d gotten back late from the studio; Sarah had gone to bed and was fast asleep. Since they’d had an argument for breakfast, JC had expected a chilly welcome at best. Undressing, he slid into bed next to Sarah. Seemingly sensing his presence, she turned over and snuggled against him. It was then he saw the swollen eyelids and salty tracks of tears on her cheeks. Had she been crying over him?
Pressing his lips to her forehead, he whispered, “I’m here, baby.”
“JC?” she mumbled in half-sleep.
“Go back to sleep, Sarah. I’m home.”
“Okay…” She gave a little sigh before nuzzling her face against his neck, her favorite way to sleep with him he’d discovered.
He knew now why she fought so hard against love – she had no reason to believe it existed. Since birth, no one had bothered to show her! And that’s why she had asked about his family relationships. Even if it took years of daily affirmations, JC was determined to hear the words ‘I love you’ from Sarah’s sweet lips!