The Legacy of Belletrist
Once he had a diamond on Shauna’s left ring finger, JC breathed a secret sigh of relief. It was a visible warning that she was ‘taken’ and not a free agent. He still got cold sweats thinking how close he came to losing her through his unreasonable jealousies. It was something he was learning to deal with silently. As much as Shauna loved him, he knew this was one trait she found less than admirable.
JC had one more personality trait he’d forgotten did not hold him in good stead with his new fiancée. When it reared its ugly head there would be hell to pay.
JC blinked as he read one of Shauna’s steamier scenes from her Belletrist site. Whoa! No wonder women made cracks about cloning him! Geeze! How could any man live up to the JC she created? He knew he couldn’t. That guy was way too understanding, much too sensitive and some sort of sexual god. Is that what women dreamed of? Is that how Shauna fantasized him to be? No wonder she had been confused and disappointed when he was cold and self-righteous. He had dashed her girlish fantasies to bits. His unnecessary harshness had bruised Shauna’s tender, romantic soul, proving quite clearly he wasn’t the man she wrote about. But how could any guy live up to those impossible expectations? He certainly wasn’t flawless.
“Joshua, what are you doing?” Shauna’s cheeks flamed when she saw what was on his computer screen. He must have done a search – she certainly never gave him her site URL!
“It’s cool, baby.” He snaked an arm around her and pulled her down onto his lap. “I’m beginning to understand your hostility better.” He waved to the screen. “I was a disappointment to you, wasn’t I?”
She refused to lie. “Yes,” she said softly.
“I’m sorry. I am never perfect, no matter how much I might try.”
“I realize no one is perfect.”
“And I was far from it when we met.”
“I realize no man is like the JC in my stories. He’s idealized. I just hadn’t expected…” She trailed off and dropped her eyes.
JC tipped her chin back up. “Hadn’t expected what?”
“Well…I hadn’t expected you to be an ogre.”
Smoothing a hand over her hair, he said, “I’m sorry.”
“You already apologized.”
“And as far as my prowess in bed…”
“That is one place you exceeded my expectations,” she teased.
“Oh, yeah?”
She nodded. “You are very good in bed,” she whispered against his lips. “I’m dazzled beyond imagination.”
“I doubt that. You’ve got one helluva fertile imagination.”
“And you’re one helluva lover.” She waved at the computer screen. “You chose one of my earliest stories. I made you a much less perfect man in the later ones. No matter how flawed, I made you a sex god,” she quipped impishly.
JC shook his head in bemusement. He didn’t know how he felt about women looking at him that way. It was a great thing for his male ego. He’d known fan fiction was out there – and he and the guys made fun of each other…but knowing Shauna was one of those writers…it was just too weird.
“Josh?”
Something dawned on him. “That’s why you call me Josh, so I’m not JC to you.”
Shauna shook her head. “I’ve never even thought of that. I got to know you through your mother. She calls you ‘Josh’, so I guess I just picked it up.”
“Are you sure that’s it?”
“That and I like the idea that not everyone calls you ‘Josh’. I figured if you had an objection, you’d let me know. Do you?”
“You have to know that I don’t,” he scolded gently.
“I’m sorry if my writing is an embarrassment to you. I never in a million years thought I’d meet you.”
“You worked with my mother,” JC pointed out.
“I started the site years ago, before I met her. She assured me you were never in Chicago except for holidays.”
“Surprise.”
“More like shock.”
He shifted her in his arms so that he could cradle her, her head on his shoulder. “I’m glad I showed up that day. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on knowing you.”
“Or I, you, darling.”
JC could only hope word didn’t get out that he was in love with a woman who was well known for writing erotica about him.
The lovers panted as they floated down from their blissful high. JC rolled onto his back, carrying Shauna with him. She rested her forehead on his sweat-damp shoulder as his arms secured her position on top of him.
“How’re you gonna live without a daily dose of that?” he demanded jokingly.
She had no reply, just a little shake of her head.
“Baby?” In stroking her hair, JC found she still trembled beneath his touch, then something warm and wet slid down to his shoulder. “Shauna?” Gently lifting her head with both hands, he discovered tears streaming down her face. “Aww…honey, don’t cry…”
“I’ll miss you, Josh,” she whispered mournfully.
His thumbs swiped across her cheeks like wiper blades, removing the tears. “I’ll miss the hell out of you, too, but it’s not like this is forever. In a week or so, you’ll be back with me and I’ll save all that lovin’ up until you get here.” His tenderness did nothing to stem the tide of tears. Shifting her to his side, he tucked her close and held her to his heart. If she didn’t stop soon, he was liable to join her. He wasn’t all that thrilled with the idea of being without her, letting her be without him. “Shh…baby. C’mon…you don’t wanna make me start bawlin’ too, do ya?” He cajoled.
Shauna shook her head again.
“Wanna tell Big Daddy Chasez all about it?” He teased softly, extracting a watery giggle from her. “You laughin’ at me?”
“Your father isn’t here,” she taunted. “He’s the only Daddy Chasez I know, big or otherwise.”
JC breathed a sigh of relief. Luckily, he’d managed to jolly her out of her weepy mode.
“Josh?”
“Yeah?”
“Something doesn’t feel right,” Shauna confessed.
“Feel right, how? You don’t feel good?”
“No…just a feeling…a dark feeling.”
Lifting her left hand, sparkling with her engagement ring, he pressed the fingertips against his lips. “It’ll be fine. You’ll see. We’ll call each other’s cells all the time and make each other crazy playing phone tag. We always got e-mail, maybe grab a chat and who knows what else? Every time you get lonely for me, just look at your ring and know that I love you and I’m waiting for you with open arms.”
Shauna knew all he was saying made perfect sense. It was infinitely more rational than her ‘feeling’. Despite their love, despite the ring, she felt this was the last time in a long time, if not forever, she would lay in his embrace. How could she even voice such a terrible thing?
“Shauna?”
Closing her eyes, she snuggled against him, tucking her head beneath his chin.
“Yeah, honey, you get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a big day for you.” He reached to snap off the light and then held her tightly until he drifted off to sleep.
Shauna lie there a long time after he slept, memorizing the feel, the smell, even the sound of him. Despite his assurances, her sense of foreboding did not drift away with slumber.
Shauna took a deep breath and smoothed her sweaty palms along the side of her skirt. In moments, a reporter from a romance magazine was due to arrive. Her first interview as a professional writer. At times, she still had to pinch herself to make sure it wasn’t all just a dream. She glanced at the credenza where a large vase of red roses now sat. JC had schedules them to arrive just prior to her interview. The note, “Knock ‘em dead, baby”, was meant to boost her confidence. Actually the roses taunted her. Despite the constant communication and declarations of love, she hadn’t been able to shake the feeling her world was about to tip on its axis – and not for the better.
The chiming of her cell phone had her diving to the bedside to answer it. “Hello?”
“Hey, baby. It’s Josh.”
“Josh, hello.”
“Ready for your big interview?”
“Honestly? No. I mean, what do I say? Up until I met your mother, my life was a snooze!”
“Take a deep breath and relax, honey. You can never go wrong with the truth. They can’t trip you up that way.”
“Even about you?”
“Sure. You’re wearing my ring, right? I’ve certainly never made any secret about how I feel about you and my intention of marrying you.”
Shauna let out a relieved sigh. “Okay. Thank you, darling.”
“You’ll be great. They’ll love you. Well, not as much as the Chasez clan, but they’ll love you.”
“I wish you were here to hold my hand through this.”
“Me, too. I’m sorry I couldn’t work my schedule out to be there.”
With a knock on the hotel room door, Shauna’s stomach lurched. “The reporter’s here. The roses are lovely. Thank you.”
“Love you, Shauna. Talk to you later.”
“Okay. Love you, Josh.”
Reporter Nancy Compton was several years older than Shauna. The woman had a ready smile and a calming friendly manner. Once the two sat at the table with the micro-cassette recorder between them, she started merely by chatting with Shauna.
“I noticed the lovely roses and the impressive diamond on your left hand. I take it there is a special man in your life.”
Shauna nodded. “My fiancé, Josh.”
“Did he inspire the hero in your book?”
“Oh, no. My book was well underway before I even met Josh.” Thinking of the day they met, Shauna smiled. “And I didn’t think he was exactly hero-like when we met.”
“Sort of grew on each other, did you?” Nancy asked.
“Something like that.”
“What got you interested in writing?”
“I’ve always loved writing. It’s been my goal to do it professionally for as long as I can remember.”
“That’s right. You started out in short romances.”
“I have done a few.”
“What background did you have in writing? College?”
“Actually it was all trial by fire.”
“But this book was so well-done, so polished.”
“The credit there should go to my mentor and first editor, my future mother-in-law.”
Nancy’s smile was encouraging. “Do I sense a story there?”
Shauna shook her head. “I hardly think so. Karen had read some of my previous work and encouraged me.”
“Did you meet mother or son first?”
“Karen and I were friends before I met Josh.”
The reporter read the book’s dedication out loud. “‘This book is dedicated to my wonderful friend Karen Chasez and to my loyal readers who promised to pay to read my work’. What is that about?”
“Well, I love Karen to pieces. She’s been my mentor.”
“And the loyal readers who will pay?”
“I know this may sound silly to some people, but I sharpened my writing skills by writing fan fiction for the internet…”
“JC! JC!”
JC looked up as he came out of his hotel to see a known trashy tabloid reporter trying to flag him down. What did that slime ball want with him? His eyes slid to Lonnie who merely frowned.
“JC, is it true that your fiancée Shauna Coe used to write *NSYNC porn on the web?” The reporter called out.
JC stopped dead in his tracks. “What?”
“Isn’t it true she is the fan fic writer, Caprice? Her site is Belletrist?”
Oh God! How had a scum bucket like that guy found out about Shauna? Without answering or commenting, JC was hustled to his car.
By the time JC got a hold of Shauna, the shock had worn off. He’d put two and two together and was furious. “Why the fuck did you have to go and tell the whole world about your sleazy fan fic?” he demanded angrily over the cell phone connection.
Caught off guard by his angry accusation, Shauna sat dizzily on her hotel bed. “Excuse me?”
“I got jumped by a tabloid reporter…a fucking tabloid reporter! I’ve managed to avoid that particular lower life form my entire career until you came along.”
“Josh, I never spoke to anyone but Nancy Compton and all I said was that I started in fan fic. I never told her any particulars.”
A nasty sneer was plain in his voice. “I wasn’t a great leap. Let’s see…you dedicated the book to Karen Chasez…you date JC Chasez…”
“I’m dating JC Chasez?” She asked quietly. Suddenly she was only dating him. The ring on her finger felt heavy and uncomfortable.
Full of righteous indignation, JC didn’t hear the pain in her question. “How could you do this to me? Do you know how this looks? By tomorrow the whole fucking world will know.”
Pulling the cool, professional receptionist mask down as she had once done so easily, Shauna softly promised, “I assure you I won’t embarrass you again, Mr. Chasez. I’m sorry you’ve been inconvenienced.” Shakily, she hit ‘end’ on her cell phone.
“Shauna? Dammit, Shauna!” Angry that she dared to hang up on him, he punched redial only to discover her number was unavailable at this time. “Fuck!” He exploded and threw the cell phone hard against the wall. He watched the pieces scatter like the fragments of his life.
The pain was almost too much to bear. Once more the man she’d held above all others had proved he could easily be toppled from his elevated status. JC Chasez had feet of clay after all.
Dry-eyed and professional, Shauna went through the rest of her promotions. She didn’t bother listening to her voice mail. The piles of messages left for her at the front desk from one Mr. Chasez were tossed in the trash container in the lobby. Emails and Yahoo messages were deleted. The lovely diamond engagement ring he had been so eager for her to wear was returned to him by registered courier. She was now Shauna Coe, writer and independent woman.
“Where is she, Mom?” JC pleaded with his mother over long distance. In his lonely hotel room he held Shauna’s engagement ring in his hand. Somehow it had lost its sparkle; the winking stone mocked him.
“If you are speaking of Shauna, I have no idea. She called me to say she was moving and would be in touch. That’s all.”
“I need to know where she is.”
“What you need is a swift kick,” Karen stated.
“I know…I know…I screwed up…”
“This is more than a screw up, Joshua Chasez. How could you accuse Shauna of deliberately trying to embarrass you?”
“Is that what she told you?” he demanded indignantly.
“Don’t use that tone with me, young man. No, Shauna merely said you two had a falling out. She didn’t place any blame. I have other sources of information.”
That sounded like Shauna. She wouldn’t want to hurt his mother by telling the woman her son was an asshole.
“She returned my ring,” JC murmured brokenly.
“I can hardly say I blame her. You hurt that girl very deeply, Josh. You threw your anger and false accusations at her again – only this time she wasn’t there to slap you in the face.”
“I can’t lose her, Mom,” he spoke in a near whisper.
“You’ve already lost her, Joshua.”