Chapter Six: Where Is Kate?
When Josh returned from Lake Geneva, the guys gathered in his room for an
update on Kate. Only hours ago, they had parted ways at the airport in Chicago.
He had wanted her to meet his parents, but she hadn’t wanted to delay her flight
to Orlando. It wasn’t a good time for her, she had said. It probably wasn’t a
good time for her, but he would have liked to introduce the woman he loved to
his parents. He imagined it might have been difficult seeing his loving mother
and father when she no longer had any of her own. He hadn’t pushed the
issue.
He and Kate had made love several times before they left each others' arms. He had been
pleased to discover his Kate was not in the least bit shy about her body -- or his.
In fact, she had proved to be rather curious and demanded that curiosity be
satisfied. Hadn’t he heard once that a woman reaches her sexual peak at thirty?
If that was the case, Josh wondered if his legs would hold out! If not, he was
certain Kate would invent something. That thought made him smile.
“So, how’s Kate holding up?” Chris asked as he flopped down on the bed.
“With Kate, it’s hard to tell. She still tried to be that tough girl,” Josh answered.
“She seemed a little too calm at the airport this morning.”
“She takes something before she flies,” Joe pointed out.
Josh shook his head. “Not like that. She was too composed. A little brittle. She
finally told me to quit asking if she was all right.”
“Now that sounds like our Kate!” Joe chuckled.
“I met Bad Pants,” Josh announced.
“Does he have a name?” Lake inquired.
Jackass, Josh told himself. “Rick,” he said out loud.
Joe had always been curious about the man known for his bad taste in clothes
ever since he’d met Kate. “What’s he look like?”
“Tall. Skinny. Kinda like Ichabod Crane. Okay looking, I guess. He looked
down his nose at me and what Kate does for a living.”
“Did he have bad pants?” Lansten asked.
Josh shook his head. “Not only did he have bad pants, his entire outfit was
twenty years out of fashion -- if it ever was in fashion.”
“What’s he do?” Lake asked next.
“He’s a professor. He though Kate should go back to Wisconsin to teach.”
“Will she?” Chris asked quietly.
“I don’t really know. She’s all torn up inside right now. And you know Kate, she
isn’t sharing it with me. In some ways, I think I help -- in some, I think I make it
that much harder on her.”
Joe gave his friend’s shoulder a squeeze. “She does love you.”
“I know she does, but will she let me love her, is the question.”
“I don’t know. Kate can be hard to read.”
“When is she coming back?” Lansten dared to ask.
“I don’t know that. She needs time to sift through her life, I guess,” Josh
answered. “And I don’t know how long that might take.”
Kate was going through a box of momentos her mother had kept from young
Kate’s school days. As an only child, she had been the focus of her parents’
pride. Her parents had been in their mid-forties when Maggie had found herself
pregnant. After so many years of trying unsuccessfully, the Nicolettis had their
own precious child. By the looks of this box, her mother had saved ever drawing
Kate had ever drawn and kept every picture taken of the child. Tucked in the
very bottom, she found a baby book. Her footprints as a baby. A lock of hair
from her first haircut. Her first visit from the tooth fairy.
Kate thought of Josh. He’d enjoy going through these things with her. She
didn’t know how she knew this; she just did. He believed in a strong family
bond.
When they were in Chicago, she should have seen his parents as he had asked.
It had been selfish of her to refuse his request. She just hadn’t been ready to
see a warm family unit -- not when she was all that remained of hers.
The ringing of the telephone broke into her reverie. She reached for the
receiver, tucking it between her shoulder and ear. “Hello.”
“Hey, baby,” came a familiar soothing male voice.
“I was just thinking about you, Josh.”
“Yeah? What about?”
“I’m going through baby stuff and elementary school junk Mama saved.”
“Bet you were a cute baby.”
“Want me to save it for you to look through?”
“That would be great, Katie Beth. I’d love it.”
“Somehow, I thought you might. I swear, she saved everthing.”
“Any videos?”
“None. Unlike you, I was a very ordinary child. My teenage years were not
immortalized on television.”
“You probably had all the boys drooling.”
“No. I was rather a mouse.”
Kate? A mouse? That didn’t sound right.
“Anyway, I didn’t move away from home until after college. I was a late
bloomer.”
But, man, had she blossomed!
“So, do you have a reason for this call, Joshua?”
“Yeah. I missed the sound of your voice,” he told her quietly. He missed her
sleeping next to him at night. He missed waking to find her head on the pillow
next to his...
“I miss you, too.”
“The guys send their love.”
“Back at them.”
“Kate...” He wanted to know how much longer he’d have to sleep alone.
“I have a meeting with Olivia tomorrow morning. I should know after that.” And
what she would know was whether she was still employed or not.
“I’m sorry. I’m being selfish---”
“It’s nice to be missed.”
“I more than miss you, baby.”
“Me, too,” she whispered, feeling tears well in her eyes. She craved Josh. It
was more than just physical. It was a sense of belonging and safety he offered
so generously.
“Make it soon, Katie. I need to hold you.”
She gave a sad, watery giggle. “I need to be held.”
Oh, baby, I...” Josh felt helpless. Kate was crying. She needed him and he was
hundreds of miles from her. “Once we’re back together, we’ll never be apart
again,” he promised her.
“That’s not even reasonable, Josh.”
“I’ll do my damnedest to make it happen, Kate.”
Kate heard commotion and shouting on the other end of the line. Judging by the
time, they were probably at the sound check.
“Katie, I gotta go. What time is your meeting tomorrow?”
“Ten.”
“I’ll call you after that.”
“You’d better go.”
“Love you, baby.”
“Good-night, Josh.”
Kate replaced the receiver. Hearing Josh’s voice should have made her feel
better. It hadn’t. Instead, a feeling of dread settled in her chest.
Kate smoothed her sweaty palms along side of her skirt. The feeling of
apprehension she’d had after talking with Josh had not abated in the least. If
anything, it had grown. By this morning it was nearly a living presence. She
knew exactly why Olivia wanted to speak with her face to face, when emails and
brief telephone calls had always sufficed. It wasn’t that Olivia felt the need to
express her sympathy for Maggie’s passing certainly. By now, Olivia had plenty
of proof about Kate’s relationship with Josh. Kate hadn’t let herself dwell on it,
but it had always been inevitable. Kate was going to lose her job.
“Good morning, Kate!” Olivia’s perky, red-headed assistant cheered when she
saw Kate. “Go right in. Olivia’s expecting you.”
“Thanks.” Kate muttered as she pushed open the door between the offices.
Olivia Hamilton’s office was the epitome of the successful, modern business
woman -- all glass, metal, and neutral shades. It was airy and spacious. The
wall of glass behind the desk looked over the sprawling city. It was awesome.
But more so was the woman who rose from the desk.
Olivia Hamilton was a tall, elegant woman of mixed heritage. Her father had
been a British business man. Her mother had been a lovely Jamaican woman
who had caught his eye. Olivia had a regal bearing, lively green eyes and
cafe au lait skin. She wore designer suits that screamed power. And she was
very intimidating to small Kate.
“Good morning, Kate.”
“Good morning, Olivia.”
Olivia embraced Kate briefly. “I’m so sorry to hear of your loss.”
“Thank you. The flowers you sent were lovely.”
Olivia released her and nodded her acknowledgment. “Please, sit.”
Once Kate was seated, Olivia perched on the edge of her desk. “I believe you
know why you’re here. I’ve been concerned about what I’ve been hearing from
the tour.” Olivia handed Kate the magazine with the pictures from the awards
ceremony she had attended with Josh. "I am pleased you are getting along
better with JC, but this looks a little too cozy. Would you care to tell me why for
all the world you look like JC’s girlfriend in these pictures?”
The truth seemed like the best answer. “I am.” There she had acknowledged
Josh, even if he would never know.
“How did that happen?”
“The way it always happens.” Kate shrugged. “The old fashioned way.”
“Which is?”
“Come on, Olivia, even you know -- boy meets girl.” Kate realized she was not
helping her case. Being flip was not the way to keep her job. Having to defend
her relationship with Josh was not something she felt strong enough to deal with
at this time.
“The last time I spoke to you, you said JC was still barely speaking to you.”
It sounded as if Olivia was accusing her of lying.
“He wasn’t. That has been several months ago,” Kate pointed out.
“Poof! You’re more than friends?”
“I didn’t pursue this relationship---”
“JC did?”
“Yes.”
“Out of the blue?”
“It seemed that way.”
“JC isn’t known for his liaisons.”
“And that made him seem more sincere.”
“And you just couldn’t resist a man more than five years your junior, even though
you knew it could mean your job?”
“He isn’t a child. And I had resisted him. I even backed off several times.”
“And JC just kept pursuing you?”
“Yes -- and after a while, I stopped running, because I realized I cared for him,
too.”
Olivia shook her head. “Kate, you seemed like such a sensible person.”
“I am a sensible person.”
“Not if you let this happen.”
“’This’ happens to be love, Olivia. It is not something I planned. Certainly not
something I was looking for. I took this job to prevent finding anyone.”
Kate finally decided to stand. Olivia had the advantage of looking down at her.
Kate decided to remove that advantage. “I happen to be very good at what I do.
I get things done and I don’t let anyone interfere with my duties. Ask
anyone.”
“They would defend you, of course. They like you.”
“And that makes my job that much easier.”
“How do you expect to command respect when you are sleeping with one of
them?” Olivia’s voice had taken a hard, nasty edge.
"You needn’t make it sound so dirty. It isn’t about sex. It’s about caring.”
“JC missed a television appearance because of you.”
“My mother died for God’s sake! I told him to go, but he wanted to stay and help
me get through it. If I had been some no-name-Jane, you wouldn’t have thought
a thing of it.”
“That’s the point. You are employed by us, indirectly by JC and the others. It
doesn’t look good to have employees sleeping around with the clients. It brings
in to question the caliber of people we hire.”
“I am a damn good coordinator.”
“Who slept with a client.”
“Fine, Olivia!” Kate threw her hands in the air. “Consider my resignation
tendered. All I can say is just wait until they find out I’m not coming back.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“No. It’s the plain truth.”
Kate walked out the door, keeping her calm as she left the office building. She
got into her car and drove a few blocks away. She pulled into a parking lot and
shut off the vehicle. Putting her hands over her face, she leaned against the
steering wheel and cried, her body shaking with the force of her sobs.
All of it was too much. Losing her mother. Losing her job. And Josh being too
far away to comfort her. She had come to rely on him and his solid presence
without ever realizing it. Olivia had put some serious doubts in her mind. Was it
only a tour romance as Olivia had alluded to? It had happened with other
performers, she was sure. Were the five years separating Kate and Josh so
much? It had never seemed so.
It was just too overwhelming. Kate didn’t want to think anymore. She wasn’t to
escape. There was only one place she knew -- the cabin.
Kate was packing when the telephone rang. She didn’t want to talk to anyone in
the state she was in, so she let the machine pick up.
“Hey, baby,” came Josh’s soothing voice. “I kinda hoped you’d be home by
now. Just called to see how it went. Call me as soon as you can. Love you.
Bye.”
Kate sat heavily down on her bed, burying her face in the shirt she held.
Another crying jag consumed her. What was she going to do?
With her bags packed and in the car, Kate looked around her apartment to make
sure everything was turned off. The phone rang again.
“Katie baby, where are you? I had my cell off for awhile. Didja try to call then?
Sorry we keep missin’ each other. Baby, I really need to talk to you. Are you
okay? Call me real soon, okay? Well...later, Katie...”
Kate went over to the answering machine and switched it off. Josh didn’t have
the Lake number, nor did he have her cellphone number. She needed
quiet.
Once at the cabin, Kate discovered she still couldn’t settle in. There were too
many ghosts. Her parents. Josh. Their shadows were everywhere she turned.
This had been her place of refuge and peace. She was finding none of that
comfort now.
At night, she lie in bed, hoping to find the oblivion of sleep. Instead, she stared
at the ceiling. The bed seemed too big without Josh next to her. She was so
lonely for him. Even though she had stripped the linens and laundered them, all
traces of their lovemaking could not be erased. Just by closing her eyes, she
could feel the heat of his body, taste his kiss, hear his voice.
Josh had given of himself in full measure. Olivia had to be wrong. It wasn’t
simply a momentary tour romance. It couldn’t possibly be a passing fancy to fill
lonely nights on the road -- not the way her heart ached for him.
Kate could hear his voice in her head, scolding her for her doubts. “Hey, baby,
we’re in this together. I told you that how many times? Whatcha doin’ so far
away from me?”
Smiling, Kate turned her face into the pillow Josh had used. A slight hint of him
remained, despite all her efforts to wipe all traces away. She’d call him
tomorrow and they would decide what to do next.
In full light of day, Kate’s doubts returned to assail her once more. What if Olivia
had been right? She had never been good with men. It wouldn’t be the first time
a man had led her astray. Or what if Josh was so angered at her desertion he
refused to even speak to her? And the others were probably angry with her as
well.
Several times, Kate picked up the telephone receiver and started to dial. And
that many times, she replaced it in its cradle.
When it was nearly dark, Kate took a deep breath for courage and dialed Josh’s
cell number.
“JC...Hello?...Anybody there?...Katie...Baby,is that you?---”
Kate slammed the phone down. Sitting on the sofa, she pulled her knees to her
chest and wrapped her arms around them. Hiding her face against her knees,
she cried as if her world was ending. Why was she such a coward?
“It was Kate,” Josh told Joe with certainty. “I know it was.”
“What’d she say?”
“Nothing. I heard a little sob and then the line went dead.” And his heart died a
little. Kate needed him. Why was she doing this?
Lansten had returned from his room, carrying a CD. He handed it to Josh. “This
is one of Kate’s all time favorites. I know you don’t really like country music, but
this song was a cross-over hit.”
Josh looked down at the title. “’Somewhere In My Broken Heart’ by Billy Dean,”
he mumbled the title and singer. “How appropriate.”
“I thought maybe by listening to it, you’d feel closer to Kate. Maybe it’ll transmit
itself to her.”
“Thanks, Lan.”
“She loves you, C”
“Yeah, but is it enough?”
Soon, Josh had part of his answer to why Kate hadn’t rejoined them and had
seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. They had all just returned from
doing a radio promo when a smallish, properly dressed man came into their
meeting room and announced her was their new coordinator. All five men were
stunned when the man claimed to have been sent by the front office -- but no
one was more shaken than Josh.
“Say again,” Josh demanded, not believing what he had heard.
“Kate Nicoletti is not returning. I am her replacement.”
The stuffy little guy certainly couldn’t replace Kate in his life, Josh thought
darkly. “When did this happen?”
“I believe she discussed it with our superior early in the week.”
That fit. He hadn’t been able to talk to Kate all week. Even her answering
machine had been turned off. “How did it happen?”
The new coordinator had the grace to look embarrassed. “They thought she had
lost her professional perspective. She had become involved---”
Joe spoke up then. “Kate was involved with all of us. She was our friend.”
“Nicoletti didn’t deny having -- shall we say -- romantic relations----”
“Shut up,” Josh growled. “Kate always did a damn good job. No one had
reason to doubt her professionally.”
The man eyed Josh. Evidentially, he knew just whom Nicoletti had been
‘romantically involved’ with.
“So, who made the decision?” Chris asked. “Kate or Olivia?”
The coordinator cleared his throat. He wasn’t used to being in the center of an
inquisition. “It was suggested she resign, I believe. Nicoletti agreed.”
“Don’t get too comfortable,” Josh warned the interloper. “You won’t be here
long enough to unpack.”
“Conference call!” Lake announced.
“Where is Kate?” Josh demanded of Kate’s former boss.
“JC---”
“We can’t convince her to come back if we don’t know how to get a hold of her,”
Joe stated.
“Kate agreed---”
“Because you convinced her to resign,” Joe broke in once more.
“We won’t work so well with anyone else,” Lake threatened. “No one knew us
like Kate.”
“I can’t believe you dumped on her now, just when she’s lost her mother,” Chris
put in. “She was so vulnerable.”
“You won’t find a better wrangler for us,” Lansten entered the fray. “Most of the
time we didn’t even realize we were being led.”
“We are like family to Kate,” Lake declared. “And family is what Kate need right
now.”
“JC, would you like to add anything?” Olivia asked.
Josh realized it was his relationship with Kate that had brought all of this down
on vulnerable Kate’s head at a time when she was least able to cope. “Kate
never let anything interfere with her job.”
“So, your relationship with Kate Nicoletti was strictly professional?”
“No. I’m in love with Kate. But she befriended all of us. We trust her.”
“And we want her back,” Lake announced flatly.
“Yesterday,” Joe added.
“And when her relationship with JC sours?” Olivia taunted.
Chris saw the anger in Josh and waved him down. “We’ll get rid of JC before we
would get rid of Kate,” Chris laughed, hoping to defuse the heat of the situation
with humor.
There was a frustrated sigh on the other end of the line. “I’ll try to get a hold of
Kate and see what she says.”
“Have her call us, “ Joe demanded. “If she doesn’t want to come back, we want
to hear it from Kate.”
Josh certainly hoped that the others being so vocal helped Kate. Now he knew
why she hadn’t called. Kate was going through her own personal hell without
him.
“She said you’d fight her resignation,” Olivia said wearily.
“We all love Kate,” Lansten told the woman. “And Kate knows we love
her.”
When the telephone rang at the cabin, Kate gave a little jump. It hadn’t rung
since she had arrived. Had Josh ferreted out the number? If he could get a hold
of Aunt Carla...Cautiously, she lifted the receiver to her ear. “Hello?”
“Kate, Olivia.”
Kate didn’t know whether to be relieved or sorry. “Hello, Olivia. To what do I
owe this call?”
“The boys are hot. They’re demanding you back.”
“That’s your problem. I no longer work for you.”
The older woman’s irritated sigh came over the line. “They’ve been without a
coordinator for a couple of weeks. You think they’d appreciate the help. Yet, I
get the feeling we’ll lose them altogether if don’t show up again soon.”
“I no longer work for you,” Kate repeated.
“I’m not happy about this. Call them.”
“You were ready to fire me before I resigned -- and you want me to talk
them out of my return? I owe you nothing at this point.” Not after the way Olivia
had spoken to her.
“Smooth some feathers. Put out the fire. They’re pretty hot. We’ll reinstate you,
if that’s what it takes. I don’t see where there is a choice.”
“I do. You handle it.”
“I don’t think so. Most of them were pretty livid when they found out you were
asked to leave.”
“Most?”
“JC was pretty quiet.”
He would be, Kate thought. Josh would let the others do the shouting. “He isn’t
the talker.” He was a doer.
“But he managed to talk you into bed.”
“You aren’t helping your case, talking to me that way.”
“I am sorry, Kate. I’m just so disappointed in how all this turned out. I had great
plans for you.”
“I never planned on falling in love with Josh. Especially when he pretended I
didn’t even exist for so long.”
“What changed?”
“To be honest -- I couldn’t tell you. One day, I was invisible. The next, he
wanted to be friends. Not too much longer after that, he said he was in love with
me. Lake, Lansten and Joe all had crushes on me at one time or another when I
started. I was able to turn them around. Josh wouldn’t be budged. He was
adamant he was not going through some phase.”
“If you could just get over this----”
“No, Olivia. I won’t even try. Be warned, if Josh wants me back, I’m his.”
“That won’t do---” Olivia knew Josh would welcome Kate with open arms.
Those are my conditions. You either deal with them yourself -- or I return on my
own terms.”
There was a long silence. Kate realized that if Olivia wanted to keep her high
paying clients, she’d have to do it Kate’s way.
“Olivia?”
“Take care of it, Kate.” Was the woman’s concession.
“I’ll talk to them, then I’ll get back to you.”
It was another conference call when Kate called them. She couldn’t be bothered
to call him, Josh thought darkly. This woman he had made wonderful love with,
who he had shared his dreams with -- the woman who had deserted him. He
realized Kate was dealing with her own demons, but to cut him off so
completely...
“Do you know who they sent?” Joe demanded.
“No,” Kate replied.
“Some weasley little guy who seems to think he’s better than us,” Chris told
her.
“That would be Patrick Jameson.”
“Sounds right,” Lake confirmed. “It’s not a good fit, Kate. I don’t think he’s ever
listened to our music.”
“Probably not.”
“But you’d inflict him on us?” Lansten was disbelieving.
“Guys, I’m sorry. I messed up big time. I can’t undo this---”
“Sure you can,” Josh broke in. “All you have to do is get on a plane and get
here. That can fix everything.” He could almost see her bite her lip in
indecision.
“Everything?” she asked softly.
“Everything, Katie Beth,” Josh assured her.
There was a thoughtful silence over the line.
Lansten finally spoke up to fill the gap. “Even if you aren’t coming back, Kate,
don’t we deserve the chance to say good-bye?”
“Yes, you do. I’m so sorry. I was so wrapped up in myself, I didn’t realize how
much I’d hurt you all.” And Josh most of all.
“Kate, we know you’re going through stuff we can’t even imagine,” Joe told her
gently.
“But wouldn’t it be better to go through it among people who love you? People
who care?” Chris asked.
“Okay,” Kate sighed wearily. “I’ll book a flight out tomorrow.”
“Then we can send this Patrick guy packing,” Joe announced gleefully.
“Maybe you shouldn’t just yet. I have to speak to Olivia.”
“Whether you decide to come back or not, that joker’s outa here!”
“Katie,” Josh spoke quietly, “I need to talk to you.” He hoped she’d stay on the
line and tell him what was wrong.
“I’ll talk to you all tomorrow.” With those words, Kate broke the connection.
Chris put his hand on Josh’s slumped shoulder. “Sorry, man.”
“May be she just wants to talk face to face.” Lansten tried to sound
encouraging.
“I have an idea,” Joe announced.