Chapter Four: What Honeymoon?

“You wouldn’t believe how wonderful it feels,” Kitty confessed to Pet as they waited to be called to the chapel.

“But you aren’t married yet.”

“Don’t scold me. It’ll only be another few minutes---“

“We promised each other we’d wait until our wedding day.”

“We were twelve and ten. What did we know about sex and intimacy? Besides, it happened within the same 24 hour time frame, so technically, it is the day of the wedding.”

“Talking about bending the rules!”

“Perpetua…”

“Oh, all right. Spill!”

“He put his hands and mouth everywhere – and I do mean everywhere!”

“Even…”

“Yep. Even there.”

Pet blushed furiously. She’d always been just as curious about sex as her older cousin, but had kept it to herself. Kit had always been the bold one. “You let him?”

“Let him? I wanted him to! I did it to him.”

“You didn’t! Kitty!”

“I thought I was naive. Read a book! See a movie!”

“I don’t read those kinds of books and I do not see those kinds of movies.”

“Nun.”

“Wild Child.”

These were old childhood taunts. They looked at each other and grinned, bursting out in laughter.

“In all serious, Pet, it’s more than just pleasure. It’s the connectedness, being joined, and pleasing each other.

Pet sighed. “Well, I’ve got to find Mr. Right first.”

“Not Lance, eh?”

“No. He’s a great guy, a real sweetheart, but not ‘the one’. He’s a friend.”

“Too bad. It would have been nice if we could be tour buddies part of the time. We could hang out together while our men got screamed at for a living.”

“Touring’s very hard, Kitty.”

Kitty nodded. Josh had avoided talking much about when he went back to Orlando.

Joey poked his head into the room. “JC’s in the chapel with Farther Carmody.”

“Thanks,” Kitty murmured.

Joey offered his arm. “Let’s go do a wedding.”

Josh hadn’t seen the dress Kitty would wear for the wedding. She had reminded him it was bad luck. He had reminded her he had seen everything the bride had several hours earlier. Kitty had blushed and shooed him out the door with Joey.

The first few notes of the wedding march had him looking to the door. First came Pet. Steps later, Kitty entered on Joey’s arm. She was so beautiful it took his breath away. Her dark hair had been swept up and away from her face, a small, veiled cap in pale lavender perched atop of it. Her matching dress was made of some light, floaty fabric that whispered around her body. She carried the small bouquet of white sweetheart roses he had sent her. When Joey released her at his side, Josh took her hand.

“Dearly beloved…” Father Carmody began.

Neither of them would remember much about the ceremony, being lost in each other’s eyes for most of it. After Father Carmody pronounced them husband and wife, he invited Josh to kiss his bride.

Josh lifted her veil. Tenderly, he cupped her face, lowering his lips to hers. “You’re mine,” he whispered when he raised his head.

Kitty tugged on his tie to bring him back. “No, you’re mine,” she challenged, kissing him hard.

The small group gathered all laughed.

George announced, “Get used to it.” He stood with Pet’s mother Anne. “Now, you’ll never get the last word.”

“I have ways.” Josh winked at his bride.

Anne Janeway, an older version of her daughter, gave Josh a motherly hug. “Just remember, she may be a little free-spirited, but she loves deeply.”

Josh’s mother had advice for Kitty. “Don’t let him get so focused that he loses sight of the lighter side of life.”

“Not a problem with, Kitty, Mom,” Josh assured her.

Josh’s father gave Kitty a hug. “Welcome to the family.”

“Thank you, sir,” Kitty replied with a politeness that some present weren’t aware she possessed.

“Call me ‘Dad’. You’re family now.”

Another unknown characteristic of Kitty’s reared its head. Her eyes grew misty. “Dad,” she whispered. It had a strange sound to it for her.

There was no fan fair for the couple. George had arranged a private reception at a discreet restaurant for those present. Everything was quiet and low-key as Kitty had wanted.

Arriving back at Kitty’s apartment, Josh unlocked the door, then swept his bride up to carry her over the threshold. “I want to do that at our house soon,” he murmured against her neck as he set her down.

“At your house, it wouldn’t be exactly front page news but nearly so,” she pointed out. “I can still walk the streets without a body guard.” She traced his brows then his jaw. “It must be very hard on you.”

“It’s the price I pay for making my music.”

“A high price.”

“With the way your career is going, I bet you’ll find it difficult to be anonymous soon. Julia Roberts look out!”

Kitty sighed. “Yeah, I think I’m pretty well booked solid through 2002 with Pet’s movie. I had planned to take a vacation.”

“Think when the tour is over we can get away for a while, just the two of us?”

Kitty ran through her mental calendar, then looped her arms around his neck. “Throw in a beach and I’ll cancel a movie.”

“You would?”

“I’m in negotiations all over the place, nothing’s in stone. I’ll just tell my agent something just won’t work for me.”

“But, Kit, your career—“

“Is not as important as you, blue-eyes.”

“Thank you, sweetness.” The love and gratitude shining from his eyes spoke volumes. “No one but my parents ever put me first.”

“That’s what wives do on occasion,” she said sagely. She reached up to stroke his slightly wild hair until he fairly purred with pleasure. “Now, do I get that beach get away?”

“I’ll buy you a whole damned island.”

“No. But a balcony would be nice.”

He put his hands on her waist to pull her closely against him. “What else?”

“Privacy.” She tugged the knot from his tie. Sliding it from around his neck, she dropped it to the floor. “And you.” She unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it from the waistband of his slacks. She ran her hands up his solid chest to clasp them at the back of his neck, pulling his head down for a tantalizing kiss.

“Sweetness?” Josh murmured as her mouth made a wet trail down his throat.

“Hmm?…” Kitty lingered at the pulse point above his lion medallion.

“Don’t you think we need a bed for this?”

“How unimaginative.”

He sucked in a breath as her mouth found a flat nipple. “No. You’re still new at this, probably still tender. It’s not time to try something new, not until your body has adjusted to me being in you.”

“Promise,” she demanded.

“Anything, Kit. What do you want?”

“That when I have more experience, you’ll let me experiment.”

“That’s a promise, baby. I think I’ll like your science projects.”

Kitty grinned wickedly. “I was terribly good at biology.”

Josh chuckled, “I just bet you were!”

Taking his hand, she led him to the bedroom. “Let’s practice.”

Once Kitty’s curiosity about sex had been momentarily satisfied, she was more than happy to lie in her new husband’s arms and listen to him discuss whatever topic came to him. She had the feeling he didn’t get to do that very much.

Idly, Josh ran his hand up and down Kitty’s arm as he talked. He couldn’t ever remember feeling this content, this sated. It was a perfect moment he wanted to hold onto forever.

“I don’t know how we’ll out-do ourselves. Our last tour was so huge and awesome. How do you top that? And our music is different. We’ve grown musically. We’re a long way from five guys sweating in a warehouse.”

“Ever miss those days?” Kitty asked softly.

“Sometimes, I miss being able to just walk down the street. But we’re basically the same guys we were then. We’re still hungry for our chance to prove ourselves. We still got the passion.”

“That’s the most important thing.”

“Yeah. And I’m loving bein’ in the studio. Writing and producing, that’s my future. This boy band stuff can’t go on forever. Music focus will change.”

“And how much longer can you be a ‘boy band’ when you’re all more men than boys?”

He grinned and flicked a finger at her nose. “You think?”

“Yes. Old man.”

Josh chuckled. She was only months younger than him. “What’s that make you?”

“Young, beautiful and talented,” Kitty giggled. “Just read my press releases.”

“You’re lucky there, sweetness. It seems like every time I sneeze it’s in a magazine.” He shook his head. “Our fans are the best. They’ve grown right along with us, but I don’t see why anyone cares what sort of underwear I choose.”

Kitty snuggled closer. “It helps flesh out the fantasy.”

That he still found amazing. A quiet kid with skinny arms and a slightly large nose being anyone’s fantasy was beyond him.

Almost as if she read his mind, Kitty said, “You don’t give yourself much credit, do you?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Blue eyes to die for. Gorgeous cheek bones. A body that won’t quit. A voice that can be sexy or tender—“

“Kit!”

“And those are some of you physical attributes. If they knew how loving, gentle and romantic you can be, you’d have to hire twice the body guards Joey says you have now.”

“I find this very strange coming from ‘America’s English Rose’. Let’s see…Violet eyes that sees into souls. Hair the color of a raven’s wing. Skin like perfect alabaster—“

“I can say for a fact I’ve lost parts over it. ‘Too unusual. We want a believable, everyday girl.’ I’ve heard that more times than I’ve cared to.”

Josh touched the corner of one of her eyes. “Where’d you get this exotic tilt?”

“Mother was like one-fourth Native American. Daddy was three-fourths British and one-fourth Irish Catholic. I got my coloring from his family.”

“When I first saw you, I guess I expected you to have an accent, too. It does slip in there when you’re mad or tired or something.”

“I spent a lot of time with Nana, Daddy’s mum when I was younger. Guess that comes from her.”

“It all adds to your allure.”

“ My allure, huh?”

“Yeah, exotic, sexy.”

“Me?” she demanded incredulously. That’s not how she saw herself.

“Don’t get me started, baby.”

For a time they were quiet, simply enjoying the sound of each other’s breathing.

“Kit?”

“Hmm?”

“This is gonna be hard on us, this being apart so much. When I leave in three days, who knows when we’ll see each other again?”

“Didn’t you realize that before you asked me to marry you?”

“I guess, I didn’t let myself dwell on it. I was more intent on getting you to the altar.”

“Not smart.”

“It’ll work, sweetness. Because we both want it to work. I’ll see you when I can. You’ll come to me when you can. I couldn’t let something like this, something this important possibly get away. Not when it was so instantaneous. I mean we knew it the minute we looked into to each other’s eyes. He thought of the engraving she’d had done on the inside of his wedding band: ‘to Josh, my beloved soulmate. Kitty’. She was better at hiding all her emotional turmoil than he was – that’s probably what made her an actress. “We complete each other in a way no one else can. That’s so rare and wonderful. I can’t imagine growing old with anyone but you.”

“Me neither.”

Josh realized he was doing most of the talking, sorting out his emotions, that gregarious Kitty also knew when he needed to be center stage. He wasn’t used to someone yielding the floor to him. Kitty was so naturally verbal and expressive – and she was so open to him and his needs.

“You’re pretty great, sweetness.”

Kitty lifted her head to give him a puzzled glance. “Thank you, but what brought that on?”

“I realized that you just sorta naturally fall into the mood I need when I need it.”

“It isn’t an act.”

“No. It’s like you read me and respond to it.”

He brushed his lips against her forehead. “I thank God for the day you mowed me over.”

“That wasn’t the way we were supposed to meet,” she reminded him.

“No, but I think if we’d met the other way, we wouldn’t be together now. That first five minutes…You let yourself feel for me. If Joey’d introduced us, you’d have been cool and polite. That seed of awareness would have been quashed.”

”You’re probably right.” Kitty snuggled closer, one arm across his middle. She would have turned her back on any glimmer of feeling she’d read in his eyes if he had been introduced to her as JC. “I’m glad I knocked you flat then.”

He laughed. “Did you know after George walked away and I asked you out, I was going to kiss you?”

“Uh-huh. The intent was right there in your baby blues.”

“Would it have made a difference?”

“I would have been madder at you. You would have broken one of my cardinal rules – and I would have known how good it was.”

“That would have made you mad?”

“Because I would have known you couldn’t be mine.”

“Then I’m glad I waited. You were hard enough to deal with as it was.”

Kitty sighed softly. “We should get some sleep.”

“I don’t want to close my eyes and miss a minute of our time together.”

“Would it help if I promise to wake you in the middle of the night and have my wicked way with you?” she asked impishly.

“I like your wicked ways.” He smiled. “Okay. A few hours then.”

“If I can wait that long.”

“Baby, I don’t want you to be too sore…”

“You’re gentle.”

“Not always. You get me all excited and worked up.”

“Not me!” she teased.

“Yes, you,” he growled against her throat as he flipped her to her back. “You do it without any effort at all.”

She stroked his hair as he rested his head against her shoulder. “Isn’t that what love is supposed to be about? Free-flowing? Holding nothing back?”

“It should be. But it’s only been that way with you, Kit. You’re the only one who’s ever just said, ‘Here’s my love. It’s all yours. Take it all’.”

Her arms went around him. He was so vulnerable at times. He must have been disappointed in his previous relationships. If she should ever run into that Robin creature, Kitty was very much afraid an old fashioned cat fight would ensue! Josh brought out the mama bear in her – as well as the insatiable minx! “It is all yours, baby.”

Lifting his head, he kissed her so tenderly she ached with its sweetness. “All I got is yours.”

“I just want you. That’s all I’ll ever want.”

“Then you got it.”

Kitty shifted a little, so he could use her shoulder as a pillow. “Get some sleep, blue-eyes. I promise to wake you soon enough.”

Josh sighed happily, closing his eyes. “And you don’t use your love like a weapon either.”

Kitty bolted into sitting position, dumping him face down on the mattress. “What!” she cried, enraged. “Who does that?”

This sigh was more of resignation. He’d just opened a fresh can of worms it seemed. Rolling over to his back, he sent a soothing caress up her bare back. “Are you really that innocent, Kit? Don’t you realize all the games lovers play?”

“That is horrible!” she declared. Her parents were her example of love. Theirs had been unconditional and open. They had fallen in love fresh out of college – and they had been enamored 27 years later, when they had been murdered.

“You really are that innocent.” Josh was amazed. The girl lived in LA for heaven’s sake. But she wasn’t an LA girl. There wasn’t a phony bone in her body. “Sometimes, it’s real subtle, a kind of unspoken ‘Do what I want or no sugar.’ It can be more blatant like ‘Get me what I want or no sex’. There’s all sorts of games.” He sat up in order to hold her. “I’m sorry I said it, sweetness." Then he saw she was crying. “Ah, baby, don’t.”

“You’ve been used like that. It makes me furious.”

Josh’s smile was a little bemused – all that fury on his behalf. “Kit baby, it’s over. My heart’s in good hands now. Believe me, I know how blessed I am, ‘cuz I’ve been through the bad, too.”

Kitty felt the need to heal him – in the only way she knew how – with her unconditional love. Crawling astride his legs, she started kissing his forehead, his eyes, his sharp cheekbones, everywhere on his face except his lips. Once she reached his mouth, she had Josh melting into her kiss.

Finally, he tore his mouth away. “You don’t need to do this,” he told her breathlessly. “You’ve got nothing to prove to me, Kitty.”

Ignoring him, she trailed her hungry mouth down his jaw and throat, nipping, sucking, licking her way farther down.

”Kitty,” he groaned when her foray across his chest yielded the desired results. “Baby…I know you’d never hurt me that way, not unless I hurt you first – And I won’t, because you’re my world.” When she gave him a gentle shove back, he momentarily lost his power of coherent thought.

Straddling his thighs, she leaned forward, her hair creating a silky curtain around their faces. “Would you quit arguing?” she taunted. “Tell me you honestly want me to stop.” She could feel exactly how much he didn’t want to stop.

“Honestly? No, I don’t want to stop – not for me.” He smiled, tenderly tucking her hair behind her ears. “You got nothing to prove to me, Katherine Elizabeth.”

“Who says I’m out to prove anything – except the fact I can seduce you?” she demanded saucily.

“Yeah, baby, you can do that all right,” he agreed easily. “But why?”

“I love you.”

Those eyes, those incredible violet eyes were so innocent, yet so wise, were boring into his. It might have begun as healing but it was ending in seduction.

“Can you possibly know how much it means to me, the way you are so open and loving?”

“Possibly not, but I can make a guess.”

He arched his neck up to kiss her softly. “Let’s go to sleep.”

“Not a chance! Mr. Happy and I are fully awake now.”

“You don’t have to---“

“Oh, yes, I do!” She guided his hand between their bodies, letting him feel how ready she was. “You’re not the only one who’s over-heated!”

“My sweet baby…” Reaching a hand around her neck, he pulled her down for a greedy, demanding kiss, thrusting his tongue between her lips to ravish her mouth. Leaving her lips, he nipped his way down her neck, his hands seeking her puckered, hard nipples. “You are so ready,” he muttered as he reversed their positions.

“Did you think I was joking?” she asked on a short breath when his mouth closed over one tight bud.

He grinned down at her dazed face. “No, sweetness, I was pretty sure you weren’t joking.”

Kitty used a little maneuver she was perfecting. Pulling her knees up and out, she arched her hips and he slid into her. Josh groaned as her legs wrapped around his hips and he was buried deep.

“You are damned talented for a girl who’s only been at this two nights,” he complained mildly. If he didn’t know better, he’d have said she was an experienced lover.

Kitty speared her fingers into his hair, pulling his head down to hers. “I’ve always been a fast learner.” She nipped at his mouth. “Love me, blue-eyes.”

“I do, Kitty, with everything I am.”

Walking hand in hand along the beach, the couple allowed the mild tide to lap at their ankles. There was so much to say, so much love to make. By late the next morning, Josh would be heading back to Orlando. In a few days, the filming would wrap and Kitty would head out to promote her latest release. The all too brief honeymoon would end and they would begin to struggle with being a couple who lived separate lives.

Josh watched as Kitty probed at a bunch of seaweed with her toes and wondered if her British stiff upper lip style would allow her an emotional farewell. He couldn’t fault her in the emotion department. She was as open and giving as any man could dream. Still she could be such a cool customer. He needed her to be emotional as he was bound to be. He’d be damned lucky if he didn’t break down and bawl like a baby. Leaving Kitty behind at the airport would be like ripping open his chest, leaving his heart exposed and bleeding.

Catching his sad gaze, Kitty nudged him with her shoulder. “Wanna talk about it?” she asked.

“Does it help? It doesn’t change the fact that I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“We’ll get through it.”

“You’ll get through it.”

“We will. You call me an innocent, but you’re the one who pretended this day would never come.”

“Guess I was hoping for a miracle.”

“Like what? I’d leave George a week before filming was finished?”

“No—“

“Or all of the sudden, your career was going to keep you here?”

“I never claimed to be rational about it.”

She lay her head against his shoulder and gave him a beatific smile. “These last days have been wonderful though. Just us. Talking. Listening. Just being together alone.”

“It was heaven,” he agreed. “And one day, if we can manage to juggle the demands of our careers, it can be that way more often.”

“Get me pregnant.”

Had he misheard? “Wha?…”

Kitty laughed at his stunned expression. Facing him, she took both of his hands in hers. “Get me pregnant. You don’t think for a minute I could be playing innocent ingénues eight months preggers, do you?”

“Wouldn’t that be like me undermining your career?”

“It would be if you were bullying me into it. No, it would be my choice.”

“You really want to be pregnant?”

“I hear it can be a pain.” She snuggled against him, her arms about his lean waist. “But I think it’ll be a beautiful time of wonder for both of us.”

He wrapped himself closely around her. “The way we’ve been goin’ at it, maybe you’re already there.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Is that your way of saying I need to take you back to bed right now?”

She smiled. “Even I’m not that obvious.”

“Damn.”

Kitty laughed and so did he.

Burying his face in her raspberry scented hair, Josh enjoyed just feeling her against him. He hadn’t realized just holding each other could be so connecting, so intimate. “Baby, I think I may miss this most of all. Just holding you against my heart, feeling you and every breath you take.”

“It is amazing isn’t it,” she sighed happily.

“You’re amazing, Kit. Everything about you.”

“I’m a pretty ordinary girl in love.”

“There is nothing ordinary about the way you love, sweetness.”

They shared a tender, lingering kiss, then resumed their walk.

“I gotta get over to the house and do some packing. Wanna come?”

Kitty had no intention of ever setting foot in that house. “I’ve got a better idea. You go do that. I’ll stay here and get dinner ready – and do some other things for tonight.”

“’Other things’ sounds promising.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Sweetness?” Would she still love him in three weeks when all their love existed on was telephone calls and emails? He was too cowardly to ask.

As if she read his mind, Kitty reached up to offer him a soft kiss. “Yes,” she whispered against his lips.

Crunch time. Josh stood before Kitty at LA-X. His baggage had been checked in and his flight had been called once. Damned if his eyes didn’t sting with tears. “Sweetness…”

“Hush, blue-eyes.” Kitty pressed a soft hand against his mouth. Her eyes were shining with tears as well. “I think talking makes it worse.”

He nodded. Taking her hand, he pressed a kiss in her palm, then closed her fingers over it. “Save it for later.”

The sweet, romantic gesture was Kitty’s undoing. Silent tears spilled down her cheeks.

Closing his arms around her, he pressed her damp face to his chest. He had thought he’d be the emotional one. Somehow, seeing her cry reassured him, made him stronger. “I love you so much, baby.”

She nodded, her throat clogged with tears.

“Hey, I thought I was gonna be the wreck,” he teased quietly.

“So did I,” she whispered.

The flight was called a second time.

“This is it, Kit.” He brushed a kiss on her soft, trembling lips. “I’ll see you as soon as I can.” Reluctantly, he released her. “Take care of yourself.”

Not trusting her voice, Kitty merely nodded again.

Well, he definitely was not dealing with a cool Kitty – she looked small and abandoned as he walked away. He was nearly to the point where she couldn’t follow when he heard her call him.

“Josh!”

At her plaintive cry, he spun about in time to catch her up in his arms as she launched herself at him. In spite of the tightness in his chest, he chuckled. “Hey, there, sweetness.”

Kitty covered his dear face with soft, quick kisses until her mouth settled on his. “Mmm…I’ll miss the taste of you, blue-eyes.”

“That all?”

“Well, Mr. Happy and I have become good friends,” she teased.

“Believe me, you are his best friend,” he laughed. This felt better. He could deal with this saucy Kitty.

“I’m sorry, Josh. I’m just not very good at good-byes.”

“Then don’t say good-bye,” he suggested.

“Okay. Au revior. TTFN.”

“Okay, T-I-double ggrr.” Only Kitty could bring Milne’s beloved character Tigger’s ‘tah tah for now’ into an emotionally fraught situation.

Giggling, she kissed him. “I love you, Joshua. You’d better go.”

It was hard to do when she had his neck in a death grip. Lowering her until her toes touched the floor, he eased her arms from him. “Love you, baby. I’ll call you tonight.”

Kitty wiggled her fingers at him in a wave as he continued on his way. She kept the smile on her face until he turned one last time for a final salute. Once he had disappeared, she went to the observation deck, fancying he could still see her there. She hadn’t lied. ‘Good-bye’ was not easy for her. Good-byes tended to be final.